two weeks late review…

Two weeks ago Prof Thurmer had us do an experiment with “wide focus”. This experiment consisted of having a few of us perform as if it was a recital, then we went through a meditation process, and then we performed again. My first performance wasn’t very good, my sound was a bit tense and I felt like my body was not aligned. After the performance I realized that I was about to be forced to leave my “comfort zone” and This meditation process was designed to expand one’s focus, in preparation for performing. We were directed to “observe the distance between your eyes”, and all the way down to your toes. As I sat in the comfortable, dark room, with my feet propped up on a chair, I felt my awareness fade. The man’s voice began to sound like a drone and my eyelids began to feel like they weighed 100lbs.

Before going into the process, I was afraid of the outcome…that I would feel more tired and be unfocused…and I was. Interestingly enough, after my second performance ( which was awful) some people said that my voice sounded better. This has to be due to the inability for myself to “fine tune” my voice, or “manufacture” a sound. I was so tired when I got up to sing the second time, that I was nervous that I was going to trip up the stairs! Anyways, during the second performance the pianist made a slight error and I became completely unfocused and lost it, I stopped singing. I couldn’t keep going. I was so unfocused, that it was scary. I felt naked. Exposed. It was awful.

Now, two weeks later and reflecting I realized something very interesting…the first performance I was completely guarded and did not give a good performance, and the second time my guard was down and I did worse! Somehow I need to find a way to combined the two performances…what I mean by that is the energy I had for the two performances. I need to be focused like the first time, but need to be relaxed and let my voice go…


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